Itsumademo Forever
by immagina
Summary: Something happened that Kurama and Hiei never expected. And now. one must live and face the world without the other. What are their reactions, feelings and thoughts towards it? Find out... r&r! yaoi content and kleenex tissue alert... spoilers!


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UPDATED!!! (at last...^_^)  
  
A/N::.. well, I've been back into this writing stuff ..eheh...I just finished uploading my recent fic from fushigi yuugi. anyway, hope you'll enjoy reading this...as much as i've enjoyed and loved writing it..i know this is a death fic...and i'm not saying that i love killing characters...iie..its just that i enjoyed the flow of ideas and "what ifs" on my mind. honestly speaking, this is the fic i made that i appreciate most...hehe...and i hope you do too. actually, i'm in the edge of tears when im writing the part when...oh..well..^^x...just read it!! it's really hard to stop writing when ideas came into your mind...anyway, spoilers!! and this has yaoi content!! you know what i mean...no sexual scenes...but just for those who are anti-yaoi...you've been warned!! r&r!! once again, kleenex alert!! There are still a lot of grammatical errors in here… my friend is not yet finished editing this… so… gomen ne, for numerous grammatical errors.  
  
Disclaimers::..Yuu Yuu Hakusho characters belong to Yoshihiro Togashi-sama and his other colleagues. So, minna, don't sue me!! just sharin' a piece my imagination.  
  
pls review!! comments are freely accepted. .(but do not bring with you an i'll tempered suzaku sishi seishi with wild red hair and kawaii fangs holding his fan and shouting, "lekka shinnen!!!"...^^x he might fry me for real...)  
  
However, flames will be ridiculed at.  
  
ok, enough with babblings!! ja!  
  
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Itsumademo (Forever)  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
::..hiei's pov..::  
  
  
  
"Ai shiteru Hiei...itsumo...itsuma...de...mo..."  
  
  
  
"Iie Kurama!! You can't die!! Don't you dare leave me fox!! You son of a bitch!! Kitsune no baka!! Don't say such words as if we're not going to meet again!!"  
  
  
  
But the bloodied, pained figure I hold and cradle in my laps just slowly shakes his head, as a sign of disagreement. He closes his emerald eyes full of pain, as if to signal me that he gives up. How can he just go like that, leave me here all alone in this damn world, trudge and tread ways everyday with no one to hold my hand, no one to tease me, no one to help me, no one to tend my wounds, no one to support me, no one to welcome me, no one to keep me going...no one to care for me...no one to love me...the way he did-- -does.  
  
  
  
That's why when he said those words, I retorted vehemently for I cannot believe him and accept what he had just said. I never expected him to face the brutal reality as this and just acknowledge it that easily. He, Youko Kurama, Shuichi Minamino, as I have thought, is the last person who would admit defeat and lie in the world of darkness that, somehow, awaits him. His human life truly changed him. Centuries ago, as I have believed, he was the most feared thief ever to exist, together with his best friend Kuronue.  
  
  
  
But as I look and gaze upon his beaten features, I can hardly associate him with the kitsune I knew, back in the massive lands of Makai.  
  
  
  
He's totally different.  
  
  
  
So fragile.  
  
  
  
So weak.  
  
  
  
So helpless.  
  
So… lifeless.  
  
  
  
My vision begins to blur and tears begin to threat my eyes. I would not cry. I wouldn't. It would destroy my ego. But my mind seems to fail, once and for all, and the cry of my heart dominates my mind. Then, having allowed my heart to rule, tears began to flow into my cheeks, and down to his bruised, bloodied face as it turned into black, shining pearls.  
  
  
  
When he felt the gems hit his face, he opened his almost lifeless eyes and smiled at me. He took one of the gems and held it tightly.  
  
  
  
"Hiei...." He whispered.  
  
  
  
"Don't you dare kitsune...don't you dare..."  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
..::kurama's pov::..  
  
  
  
I felt my life being washed away from me as I continue to weaken, slowly, bit-by-bit. When I felt the cold, black gems touched my face, I opened my eyes, exerting effort and smiled at him. I can see his crimson eyes filled with pain, hatred and anger.  
  
  
  
And tears.  
  
  
  
I *never* saw him cry. That's why when I viewed his pained features, I can't help but smile and at the same time cry as well for I realized one thing: He really loves me *that* much.  
  
  
  
Hiei of Koorime never cries and *if* ever he did, it's for the only ones who deserved it. As I look back, I pondered for a while what I did to deserve someone like him. If I'll ask him about it, I'm surely he will just retaliate and reiterate the question back to me. I am but a heartless youko, during my time, and a merciless youkai who will not do anything stupid; as I regard it before, like to give up my life to anyone.  
  
  
  
But now, it looks as if the phase of the wind reverted and changed me wholly as a person.  
  
  
  
As Shuichi Minamino.  
  
  
  
That is why when I saw a full youki blast directed to Hiei during our battle a while ago, I immediately ran to him, for he was already weak and worn out, and I hugged him to make myself his own shield...and protect him.  
  
  
  
For I'll never let anything bad happen to him.  
  
  
  
That is how much I love him. Even if the price is my own *life*.  
  
  
  
Alas, my purpose had been fulfilled; he was safe, though weak. I, on the other hand, collapsed backward, blood oozed out of my back and felt, trembling hands catch me before my entire body reached the floor. I was panting and grasping for breath and tasted the awful taste of blood in my mouth as it trickles down to my lips, jaw and into my body.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, a realization of what happened to me shot through my mind.  
  
  
  
I can vaguely describe his face when he saw my face. His eyes widen beyond its natural limits, his lips shaking and mentioned my name ever so softly, as if not to believe what he was seeing. After that, he asked me if I was okay and why done I do that.  
  
  
  
" Because I love you...th-that is...w..why..." I replied, voice quivering. Damn. My body does not obey me.  
  
  
  
And maybe because of fury, he stood up, gently placing me to the bloodied floor, gathering the remaining strength he had, and summoned his kokoryuha. After that, our enemy turned into dust and vanished in the wind.  
  
  
  
As he looked at me at the dusty, crimson-shaded ground, because of blood, I saw something in his eyes that I never saw before.  
  
  
  
Fear.  
  
  
  
And I was worried that he'll worry and....fear...more on my condition.  
  
  
  
He clutched my body tighter, cradled me and pours some of his youki into my body.  
  
  
  
But I stopped him, for I am not insensible of my situation. No matter how high level of youki he will pour to me, that supply of youki cannot be enough to sustain my life and he'll just exhaust and weaken himself more.  
  
  
  
I know.  
  
  
  
I'm not going to make it.  
  
  
  
For my condition is fatal.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
::..hiei's pov..::  
  
  
  
I can feel it. Life gradually passing from him every minute. Blood continuously flowing in his back.  
  
  
  
I just couldn't take it!! I can't believe it....kisama.  
  
  
  
This is *not* and *never* the way I expected our relationship to end. I intended it to never last and we will vanish *together* as we fought battles *together*. Damn it. Life is really unfair, isn't it? The pain I went through the first time was almost more than enough of I can handle. Being rejected by a mother is really hurting and painful...but watching a death of my *own* lover in front of me, because he protected me...is ten times more painful than the first one. It seems that a big part of my identity has been torn away, leaving me devastated and in full agony.  
  
  
  
I should be the one who's lying there, clinging on life by a thread.  
  
  
  
And not him.  
  
  
  
He's too beautiful to...to die so soon...he still has many dreams and goals to pursue in life, compared to me. I am a worthless creature and do nothing but to kill, until he came into my life. Now, as I watch him, I felt like going with *my* Kurama for I don't have anything else to watch over, love and protect in this world. Yukina is in good hands with Genkai and with that stupid, carrot-headed oaf Kuwabara. Knowing her and admitting the fact that she's in good hands is enough for me. She doesn't need to know that I'm her brother. I will only ruin her peaceful life.  
  
  
  
But the thought of committing suicide just to join him eternally will not work out. For I know that he'll take every ounce of strength he has to protest and argue with me. It's just not his style. I know he never wanted me to waste my life over him, as he usually says, and he told me once that my life is too much valuable to be eradicated. Though I don't know why.  
  
  
  
As my eyes fell again on the sight before me, I started to think of life without him. Cruel and bad, as it may seem, I just have to face reality and what's going on...just like he does. I felt at first I will not make it, but something inside told me that it could make me a stronger and better person. I have to set him free.... and let him go. Even though I know it's very painful, I must.  
  
  
  
I have to.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
..::kurama's pov::..  
  
  
  
After collecting my thoughts and reminiscing some remarkable moments in my short, 15 years as Shuichi Minamino, I heard a faint voice telling me it's time.  
  
  
  
From my own heart, I know it is. I never expected my death would be this soon, would be in this battle, but I guess...that's just how life goes. Things happen the way you don't expected it to be. Still, I'm glad I did all I could in my life and served people fairly.  
  
  
  
As I go to Reikai, I know, for sure, I'll have no regrets.  
  
  
  
Shiori Minamino.  
  
  
  
My ningen mother. My kasaan. The mother I never had. I wonder how will she react upon hearing my sudden death. I know she will burst into tears and hug my body, as she always does. I will miss her so much. She taught me love that I never knew and changed my cold heart, melted it and made it warm with affection. She is weak, as in the eyes of most youkais, including my koibito, but in my human eyes, she is strong enough to bound and overshadows me with her love.  
  
  
  
Kasaan...arigatou gozaimasu...ai shiteru. Shuu-chan will always watch over you...don't you worry...I'll careers your cheeks like the way you do to me during my early years. I'll stand beside you.  
  
  
  
Yusuke.  
  
  
  
Team leader. The one who put us all together. I can see your bravery and undying love...for humanity...for your otousan...for Keiko. I had fun being with you, fighting with you. You're a great comrade. I honor you. Continue this good job, and I tell you, you'll succeed. Even if you're an S- class...don't forget the teachings you've learned here..and from your kasaan. Thank you for being concerned over me during battles. You have a great spirit. I'll be waiting for the time you will come to Makai and let's settle a fight...a duel. I'll be waiting for that.  
  
  
  
Hiei.  
  
  
  
What can I say? Words aren't enough, and never will, to describe what I feel for him.  
  
  
  
I have known him half of my life and from the moment I laid my emerald eyes into his ruby ones, I know for once, we have something special between us that we will share. And apparently, I have been right. We shared this common bond; our souls intertwined, and loved each other. We were soul mates. We love and care for each other. It's just so sad that it will end, physically, this way. Not the way we hoped for. Yet, spiritually, we are still bounded and intertwined, helping each other get up, stand and face the new world. Just like kasaan, I'll always be with him. My soul will be watching over him and will wait for the day when we can be together and will never be separated again.... forever. Hiei, I hope you'll remain strong and move on.  
  
  
  
I'll be waiting. No matter how long it takes.  
  
  
  
Kuso...I can't believe just how ready I am.... to face my death.  
  
  
  
After some moments, I looked up at him deeply and searched for his soul.  
  
  
  
And he, too, despite the pain we both carry, is ready.  
  
  
  
Once again, I blurted out the words I told him just minutes ago and I hope it will remain in his heart.  
  
  
  
"Ai shiteru Hiei...itsumo...it..it..su..made...mo...."  
  
  
  
After that, I gave my last sigh, closed my eyes and entered the light that appeared before me.  
  
  
  
Sayonara, Shuu-chan. Itashimashite, Youko Kurama...once again.  
  
  
  
Sayonara, Ningenkai. Taidama, Reikai. Itashimashite, Makai.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
::..hiei's pov..::  
  
  
  
That's it. I heard him. I heard his sigh and I witnessed as he congested his eyes for the last time. At first, I was shocked, unable to move my eyes...and then anger...and then, finally, acceptance. I knew I have to admit that. Now as I stand up, still weak from physical and emotional exhaustion, I carried his body and intended to bring him to Genkai's temple. I watched the sun set into the horizon and gazed as the sky turned into a shade of orange, then to violet and finally, a velvety myriad of black.  
  
  
  
I know that the others' reaction will be similar as mine...but they can never equal the pain that lingers in the depth of my broken heart.  
  
  
  
And now, my journey without him has begun.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
::Epilogue::  
  
(hiei's pov, obviously)  
  
Two, long, lonely years have passed since I've held him in my arms...since he vanished from my sight...since he died. Days are so gloomy and quiet. Whenever I look at a rose, I am always reminded by how he looked like...and how he was, as a person. Red petals are like his wild red hair and wild attitude, yet caring and soft as the petals that fall into the ground. The green stem reminds me of his expressive emerald eyes and the thorns remind me of his wicked, youko side. Whenever I smell its fragrance, I smell him...and had a sudden urge to hug him tight.  
  
  
  
But he's nowhere to be seen.  
  
  
  
I wonder if he's now in the immense lands of Makai, regained his body as Youko Kurama and started once again his hunting habits. I wonder if he's looking for me...and I wonder if his short stay in Ningenkai changed and affected his entire being.... as a kistune.  
  
  
  
I don't know. I just hope so...for I love him that way...and always will...  
  
  
  
Today was his 2nd death anniversary. People, his mother, Yusuke, the oaf, Keiko, Yukina, Atsuko, Genkai and others chatted and reminisced their times with him, may it be happy or bad. I too, internally, had been reflecting about that. In fact, I flew here, in his ningen house, particularly in his window, which have always remained opened. For me.  
  
  
  
When I'm on my way to this house, half of my mind was expecting him to be there, waiting for me, reading those books and reading some letters. I expect him to sit in his chair and gaze upon the window from time to time, in case of my arrival. But when I came here, what I found was a neatly organized bed and study table.  
  
  
  
No Kurama. No Shuichi Minamino, coming up to me, kissing me passionately, cuddling me into his arms.  
  
  
  
Kisama, I'm getting all mushy again. Yet, deep inside, I know, I'll be waiting for my time when I can rejoin him...forever. Having been tired of today's activity, I unconsciously drifted into a deep slumber, sitting and leaning on his window like I used to, and entering a reverie where we are together, and none can set us apart.  
  
  
  
  
  
Suddenly, a soft breeze passes by Hiei, and a voice came upon, whispering words full of love and longing...  
  
  
  
"Itsumademo....Ai shiteru..."  
  
  
  
And finally settled into space.  
  
  
  
~*~owari~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
=======================  
  
:::Glossary:::  
  
ai shiteru- i love you  
  
arigato gozaimasu- formal way of saying thank you very much  
  
itsumademo- forever  
  
itsumo- always  
  
itashimashite- welcome  
  
kasaan- mother  
  
kisama, kuso - a curse, bad word meaning shit and/or damn  
  
kitsune- fox  
  
koibito- lover  
  
kokoryuuha- black dragon  
  
koorime- land where hiei came from  
  
Makai- evil/demon world  
  
ningen- human  
  
ningenkai- human world  
  
otousan-father  
  
Reikai- spirit world  
  
sayonara- goodbye  
  
taidama- i'm back / i'm home  
  
youki- energy  
  
youkai- demon  
  
  
  
  
  
^^x  
  
======================= 


End file.
